christy

there is no big secret that we don't always get along. but i am always reminded that you are the one i want. we sat on the floor in the kitchen last night and talked...and it was so good. i see within the face of our daughter the hope of our love for each other...not in the faces of the past that can't even look at each other.
i was looking through some old journals today, and there is the truth of love written in them that can't get washed away by pride and selfishness...although it sure seems like i am trying hard as hell to test our love...pride and selfishness, sacrifice and selflessness...wrestling for oneness.

i am no poet or lyricist, but these were written from the depths of reality and meaning
this was written before we were married

9-17-00
in times past
when i dreamt
of lovers without face
or name
i woke with such
a feeling
that remains
singular, exact, unique...
love
pure, emotional, passionate
strong, concrete, unwavering.
now i no longer dream
of lovers
yet that feeling
remains
renewed
in you.
you were always the one
i dreamed of.

this was written when you were pregnant with HER

my life on the couch

there it is on the couch,
just sitting there.
my life.
it walked in a minute ago,
tired, weary.
it keeps going
because it has a strong will.
it thinks a lot
of what i don't know.
it takes on a lot
of responsibility.
it laughs
and when it does
there is light and joy
peace
love.
it is real
does not dissemble or lie.
does not even exaggerate,
that would cheapen life.
it puts it's hand
on it's fat belly
and it giggles
at the movement
my baby is making
in it's tummy.

i love my life.